The Mitochondria

Who was that dude over there? Why was he naked? And also, where are we? You have lots of questions, my boy! And I will now answer. God said, "Let us make-- Uncle P.! What? Oh, I said the G word again, didn't I? Well, you see Jacob, that name is either good or bad depending on how you use it, which is something mom forgot tell you. I am using the word the good way, so can I use it now? Well, as long and you only use it in the good way I guess it's ok. Alright, so let me get back to my story. God said, "Let us make human beings in our image." And so he did, and that's who Adam was, the first man. Then he brought all of the animals he created to Adam, he even gave them names! However, none of them were just right for the man, so God created Eve for him, the first woman! Does that mean... she was a girl? Yup! Eww! Girls are gross, why would God make a girl? I can't stand the sight of them! Give ya a couple more years and you won't be abl...

"In the beginning the Lord created the heavens and the earth. The earth was--" Hey, I have an idea. Jacob, would you go turn off the lights for this part? What? Why? Do it, it'll be cool. Ok, Uncle P. Alright, when I say the word "light," turn on the lights Aight. "The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of the Lord was hovering over the surface of the waters. Then, The Lord said 'Let there be light.'" Woah! Where are we? We are witnessing the creation of the world. Look around you, and don't blink! Time is moving very quickly.  Woah, where is all of the the water going? It's all flowing into place to form seas and so land may appear.  How does it do that?  It happened because The Lord said it! Wow, I wish I could do that. Could I say I'll get all of the Happy Meals I want if I just say so? Well no, but right now food does not exis...